CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT HEALTH
Here’s a safe, simple, fundamental way to start on a path to better health, more energy, and reduced stress. It’s called having”congruence” in NLP. This excerpt describes it:
Being of Two Minds: Congruence vs Incongruence
“Have you ever felt like you wanted to go, but you felt like you wanted to stay?” That lyric from an old Jimmy Durante song is a great example of something we all experience. It’s that sense of an inner conflict, like one part of us wants to do one thing, and another part of us wants to do something else. Or it can seem that we’re just uncertain about what we really want to do.
NLP calls this “Incongruence”: times when you feel conflicted about a goal or a situation.
You can also feel incongruent about a more pleasant conflict, like when part of you wants to go to the mountains and part of you wants to go to the beach. More important is when incongruence reveals a conflict in our values.
Imagine, for example, that your boss told you that you need to be more aggressive with a certain customer. Yet, to you, being aggressive means being pushy, and being pushy violates your values and your sense of who you are.
You’ve also experienced times when you’ve felt no doubt or conflict, and everything seemed to be going your way. This is frequently referred to as “being in the zone” or being in a flow state. In NLP, we call this being “Congruent.”
Learning to detect when you are congruent, and when you are not, is a very important life skill. The more you are aware of your personal signals of incongruence, the faster you can identify and resolve the conflict you’ve uncovered. The faster you resolve any incongruence, the easier things will be for you and the more effective you will be, because you’re not spinning your wheels and unconsciously resisting or debating an issue.
Incongruence is a real source of friction in our lives. It takes a lot of personal energy to overcome a part of you that’s really opposed to a certain course of action. The more you try to override that part, the more likely it is that the unwilling part of you will object more strongly. And when you fight with yourself, you tend to lose.
It’s far more effective and in the long run simply easier to develop the ability to notice when you’re incongruent and resolve it. It’s one of the easiest skills to learn and one of the most rewarding.
One of the greatest sources of emotional and physical stress is when your mind is trying desperately to override your body’s righteous desire to stop you from doing something that violates your integrity. The most effective way to turbocharge your life is to learn to move in harmony with your values.
Find out more: NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (p. 57). NLP Comprehensive; Dotz, Tom; Hoobyar, Tom; Sanders, Susan. HarperCollins. Kindle Edition. Used with permission.