“neurolinguistic programming n. a model of interpersonal communication chiefly concerned with the relationship between successful patterns of behaviour and the subjective experiences (esp. patterns of thought) underlying them; a system of alternative therapy based on this which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour.” – Oxford English Dictionary
NLP is like the ‘user’s manual’ for the mind, and allows us to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes.
When you learn NLP, you learn specific skills and patterns necessary to make positive changes, create new choices, be more effective with others, break free of old habits, self-destructive patterns and behaviors, and think more clearly about what it is you want and how to get it.
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Training is the way to accelerated accomplishment in NLP, the proven technology for personal development. NLP helps people to understand themselves and those around them more fully, in such a way as to maximize personal growth and excellence
You experience life through a set of perceptual filters that are unique to you. Your experience is filtered first by the limits of your sensory organs: what you are able to perceive is a small slice of the world. In this sense, you are out of touch with reality, because your every perception is ‘filtered’ not only by your biology (for instance, 20-20 vision is about as good as it gets for humans), but also by your culture, family, education, community and other influences from your unique personal history – teachers, mentors, friends, enemies, etc. The primary presupposition underlying all of NLP is that The Map is not the Territory.
I’m sure you have experienced that when you change your point of view, your perception of a situation, your behavior will often change as well. In fact, excepting addictions, it’s hard not to change what you do when what you know changes.
Blinding flash of the obvious: Simply put, the way that you distinguish, recognize, see, make out, pick out, identify, observe, notice, take in, understand, comprehend, become aware of, or realize or make sense of something. Here’s a brief example of a BFO – Blinding Flash of the Obvious. Depending on who I’m talking to, it goes something like this: You know, the way that you perceive something is the way that you will react to it, right? And the way you react to something will determine your behavior, right? And how you behave is what gives you your results in life and at work.
Bottom line, what you allow yourself to perceive determines what you get in life. If you can’t see it, you can’t use it,but you sure can be frustrated by what you don’t perceive. This is what in NLP we call your “perceptual filter(s)”.So until you recognize your own filtering, you are to a large extent at the mercy of your unconscious “perceptual filtering.” Change your filters, and you change what you experience.
These ways of seeing things have a profound effect on how you feel and react. They come from all the beliefs and underlying assumptions that you hold in your mind from your education, spiritual or religious training, the community you were raised in, your social status in that community, your education and teachers, your economic prosperity or poverty, your family and friends, fashions and others opinions, TV and advertising, and even from world events of your time in history like the depression or the Viet Nam war.
All of the events, beliefs, reactions, learnings, are like a tapestry woven together making you who you are today. And then you unconsciously and from habit perceive your world through this unique and rich lens of installed beliefs and assumptions.
You intuitively know that there is leverage in someone changing their behavior by changing their perception. When is the last time you said to someone: “Look at it this way”, or “How would you feel if . . .?” By using such questions, you were attempting to get that person to change the way they were feeling or behaving by getting them to change their perceptual filters.
Your perceptual filters impose many beliefs and assumptions your being consciously being aware of them. In the classic movie “South Pacific” there is a very pungent, and accurate, example in the song “You’ve got to be taught to hate” about how prejudice is learned. Until you can figure out how to change your filtering, to a large extent, you are at the mercy of your unconscious “perceptual filtering”. Unfortunately, those around you are at the mercy of your unconscious “perceptual filtering” too! This BFO – that your perceptions determine your reactions and your reactions determine your behavior, and your behavior gives you the results you get in life – if you want to change the results you are getting in your life and in your business; the best place to start is in your perceptions. So, the first step is to carefully examine your perceptual filtering process for what you do perceive and how you react to it.
You can call this the filtering mindset. You will want a mindset that allows in information that benefits and enhances, allowing you to feel more resourceful. You also want a filtering system that filters out erroneous, inaccurate or demeaning information that makes you feel powerless, or undeserving.
But here is the problem. How can you begin to see anything differently than how you have always seen it? Albert Einstein said “The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level at which we created them.”
First, you don’t know what you don’t know. Few people can easily see their world with new lenses by their own means. This is most easily done by borrowing someone else’s filters to get a new perspective.
In our NLP programs one of the easy, and painless, ways we teach our participants to get a sense of the import of changing perceptual filters is an exercise called “Walking in Someone Else’s Moccasins.” Just like it sounds, it’s an experience of stepping into another person’s experience and seeing, living, and feeling it through their perceptual filters. As a rather large bonus, this is also a very easy and effective way to achieve rapport with almost anyone, no matter how different they are.
Here’s how to do it:
The first few times you do this start with a friend or colleague (the ‘Model’) who wants to play. Preferably someone as different from you as you can find. Different sex, height, age, profession, education, background, and more. Later you’ll be able to do this with anyone, almost anywhere.
The ‘Model’ spends ten minutes in activities which s/he enjoys. The Modeler (that’s you) “shadows” the Model, matching his/her movement and voice, in every way attempting to “become” the Model and enter into his/her experience.
For instance, if modeling someone walking, the best position is behind and to one side – just enough behind them that you’re not visible. Start by matching their walking pace, then adjust your posture – tilt of your head, their posture: shoulders, body tilt (forward, to one side or the other, straight, etc.), swing of your arms, degree of outward or inward pointing of feet and knees, as they walk. By then you’ll notice how you are also pacing the rhythm of their breath to some extent; notice matching it more intentionally for a few breaths. Notice where they are looking, listening.
After ten minutes, the Modeler stops the exercise, and reports his/her experience and perceptions as the Model: “I noticed small details more than I usually do, like the petals of flowers and the shapes and colors of leaves. The sound of the birds seemed louder and closer. Everything seemed clear and very close. I was more aware of my hands. They even felt larger.”
After a little practice, you’ll find you can easily do this even with strangers across a crowded room. Then the next time you’re stuck in an otherwise dreary airport transit lounge, or a waiting room, or walking down the street, you can do this and have more examples.
What are the benefits? You’ll actually see and hear things that normally escape your attention – and which may explain things that have had you wondering about so-and-so. You also experience a real sense of rapport for the person you modeled. This can be really useful when dealing with children, in meetings, with a negotiation. You’re also starting to learn the fundamental NLP skills of matching and pacing and “second position.”
Whether it’s mentors, autobiographies, or experts in your field you can borrow their perspective and see what new options are available to you with these lenses.
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin
The Slide Deck
Created specifically to put you on the best path to using NLP for your benefit, it’s the place to start.
NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming
If you’ve been looking for the freedom, the happiness, the carefree life that so many in the media seem to have, you are not alone. You are, in fact, in great company! Finally, there is a book that will help you get that – will help you discover the freedom to live and feel how you want to each and every day.
Right from the start this book gives you an understanding of how your mind works to create your feelings, and so how to have the feelings you want. It starts with very simple and basic explanations of the NLP model of how our minds work. The book describes how that affects us, and how we can use that knowledge to have more control over our lives.
The essential point of this book of NLP Essentials is increasing your personal freedom.
There is a lot of talk today about the one percent and the one tenth of one percent, the wealthy and the ultra-wealthy. There is adulation, almost a worshiping, of the rich and famous. This enforces the very limiting belief that you have to be rich to be happy, to have a satisfying, meaningful life.
What most people actually want is simply the happiness in that equation. That is supposed to be the main reward, right?
The reality is that it ain’t necessarily so. Yes, money is certainly essential to well being, at least in our society. Yet studies are showing that, beyond a certain level, more wealth does not create an equal increase in happiness. Somewhat the opposite, in fact, frequently occurs.
Many constraints go along with being rich and famous. As Chevy Chase said, if you have the chance, choose rich, not famous. It will give you everything fame does without the headaches and with a lot more freedom.
Therefore, we wrote a book to skip past the limits in that limiting belief. What this book does is give you a route straight to the freedom we all long for, skipping past the requirement to be rich or famous.
By learning how to be in charge of your thoughts and feelings, right now you can have an even greater amount of freedom than most people, even more than the one percent.
You don’t have to make a billion to have it. It is within your reach right now. The secrets are located right between your ears, and the keys to unlocking the secrets are between the covers of this book.
In fact, we could have called this “Your Mind: The Owners’ Manual,” and yet it’s more than that. It is a carefully crafted book designed to give you what you have been looking for – freedom – and structured to make it easy to learn from and to make changes with. It’s carefully sequenced to start you with the simplest tools that will make a difference for you right now.
Right in the first chapter, you get two ways to propel yourself into your “zone” – your high performance state. In addition, it continues, chapter by chapter, with tools that give you more choice and more control in your life.
When you purchase this book you will also get access to a custom companion website that provides you with additional materials, examples, video demonstrations and walk throughs of not only the above processes, but every process in the book.
We will hold your hand as much as you want, or you can breeze along by yourself. Either way the “Essentials” are here for you. We have been guiding people with these models for over twenty years. We’ve taught these models and processes to everyone from truck drivers to rocket scientists. It works for all of them.
These principles are present in all areas of life, from parenting to designing aircraft cockpits. The reason this works in everywhere and for everyone is that while every one of us is unique, every one of us is unique in the same ways. We are all humans and we all have the same biology.
Wherever humans are, whatever humans do, we carry the same neurology. NLP: The Essentials gets you started on a path of understanding how you can use your unique mind to better navigate your life. So order your copy, and get started now on discovering the freedom you have been looking for. Get your copy here:
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