Change Your Mind--And Keep the Change: Advanced NLP Submodalities Interventions
by
Connirae Andreas and Steve Andreas
DESCRIPTION: This advanced NLP book builds on the foundation established
in Heart of the Mind, by the Andreases, and Using Your Brain--for a CHANGE, by
Richard Bandler. Presented in "live seminar" format, this book offers rich information
and specific examples of how to work successfully in helping people change. Specific
methods are presented for changing habits, for congruently finally saying "no" when
that is appropriate, eliminating compulsions, building self-concept, becoming
more self-referenced and less vulnerable to others' opinions, utilization of
timelines and time frames for planning and motivation, shifting the relative
importance of criteria/values, and much more.
EXCERPT: Time Orientation
Let's talk a little bit more about past-, present-, and future-oriented people,
and how their orientations relate to their time sorts. For example, one person
that I worked with had the past right behind her, the present directly in front
of her, and the future going out ahead. Now, what kind of person was she with
respect to time? If you try on that timeline, what will your orientation be?
Al: I'm not sure. It's confusing.
Well, can you see the future?
Al: No, not really.
Not unless your pictures are transparent, and hers weren't! If the present is
right in front of you and the immediate future is behind that, so you can't see
it, what is your time orientation?
Sally: Present.
Right, and for her it was the immediate present. When she said "right now," she
really meant right now--this split second! Five minutes from now would be in
the future for her. She had a very narrow sense of the present.
Now try this out. What if your future goes off to your right at an angle, so
you can see most of what's in each picture, and it gets bigger and brighter as
it goes forward in time? The far future will be more important for you. You would
tend to live for the far future, and respond less to the present and past.
If the near future or the present were bigger and brighter than the far future,
you might experience difficulty with long-range planning or thinking about the
consequences of your behavior, but be very good at planning immediate future
events. Investigating your timeline can often give you some clues about how to
change it in a useful way.
Carol: I started out being very present-oriented. My present was big, bright,
and close, and both future and past were small and dim. We changed it so that
I could keep all that wonderfulness of the present, but move some of that brightness
into the next several weeks also, so that I'd respond more to the immediate future
and get more done.
That sounds like a useful change. Here's another timeline you can all try out.
One man had his past on a line straight in front of him. His future went way
off to the right. You know the phrase, "My past flashed in front of my eyes?" This
man lived that way all the time. What does that do to your experience? It certainly
focuses your attention on the past. Depending upon whether your past was wonderful
or horrible, you might like it or not, but you wouldn't pay much attention to
the present or future. This is the kind of person for whom using the Change Personal
History pattern will be very impactful, because he responds so strongly to representations
of the past.
Carl: I've noticed that in certain circumstances I can focus a lot on the past.
My past was right up here in front of me. So I just moved it over there to my
left, and went, "Beep. Bang!" and slammed the door.
And how does that work for you?
Carl: Well, I don't know yet.
If you now take this new timeline into future situations, you can get a good
idea of how it will work, and if any adjustments need to be made. The ideal is
to have some flexibility with your timeline--to be able to move the past where
you can see it when that's useful, and move it out of the way when you want to
be more present- or future-oriented.
I think you are all getting the idea that in general, whatever is right in front
of you and noticeable--big and bright, colorful, etc.--will be most compelling
and you will pay most attention to it.
Fred: I'm interested in hearing about some useful timelines.
Well, the question is always "Useful for what purpose?" or "Useful for whom?" You're
getting a sense of what the possibilities are. Let me tell you some fairly standard
ones. Most people have some kind of gentle, open curve, the way Linda has. The
past is usually a line off to the left, the present right in front of you, and
the future in a line to the right. Images may be stacked behind one another,
but they're usually offset or arranged at an angle, so that part of each successive
picture is visible.
Deciding whether a timeline is useful or not depends on what your personal outcomes
are, and what's ecological for you. Saying "this is the right timeline" is like
saying "this is the right way to be, and there are no other useful ways to live
in the world." A person's timeline can make him unique. But if it gets him into
trouble in certain situations, or if a different timeline would allow him to
do things that he can't now do with his own, then it might be appropriate to
explore alternatives, at least for specific contexts.
Timeline Spacing
It's often useful to find someone you think is very capable and skilled, investigate
how she sorts time, and try it out. For example, people who are good long-range
planners tend to have the future close in front of them rather than off to the
side. We know a man who teaches business people long-range planning, and he's
very good at it. He has both his five-year and his ten-year plans right there
in front of him, very detailed, and quite close. Ten years is only about two
feet away. That works fine for him, and he really likes it, but when I try it,
the future seems to press in on me too much. I want the future a little bit farther
away and less detailed, so that I have more room to move in the present.
What difference might it make in a person's life if his future timeline is really
e-x-p-a-n-d-e-d instead of compressed, like that of the long-range planner I
just mentioned? Try putting tomorrow halfway across the room, next week down
the hall, and next month so far away on the horizon that it's barely visible.
What might be the behavioral consequences of having such an "expanded" timeline?
Anne: I wouldn't be very motivated to do something that was way out there someplace!
I'd feel as if I had a lot of time to kill before getting around to it.
Mike: How true! When I was writing my dissertation, finishing it was quite a
way off in the future. There was lots of room to add other projects between the
present and the completion date of my dissertation, so I kept taking on new jobs
and putting off the dissertation. When I finally realized what was happening,
I "reeled in" the deadline until it was so close to the present that there wasn't
enough room to add anything in between. Any new projects had to get added on
after the dissertation was done.
Nice! That's a good illustration of how compressing a timeline can help someone
meet deadlines.
Lars: I think I need to do the opposite. My future is all bunched up close, and
I always feel like the future is pressing in on me. When I spread it out a little
more, I feel much more relaxed.
You look as if that might lower your blood pressure 30 points. Let's check carefully
for ecology, though. Imagine taking this new spread-out timeline with you through
the next day . . . and the next week . . . Can you still get the things done
you want to get done? Or are you too "laid back"?
Lars: No, not at all. In fact I think I can plan and schedule better. Before,
my future was so bunched up that I couldn't really see it to plan very well.
That sounds good. We've also noticed that for some people, having a long-range
future that is filled with big bright goals literally gives them "something to
live for" and they're more apt to stay alive! One study on cancer patients found
that survivors are apt to be future-oriented, whereas non-survivors are past-oriented.
Bob: I used to be much more future-oriented than I am now. In the past couple
of years I've slowed down, and my future seems to be less clear than the way
it was before. There are obviously advantages and disadvantages.
Absolutely. If you are too fixated on the future, you may not be taking care
of things in the present. You may not notice that you're having a lousy time
now, and that your family's having a lousy time, too. On the other hand, if all
your attention is on having fun in the present, you won't notice the future consequences,
and your future won't be as enjoyable as it could be. Depending on the consequences
you ignore, it could be a lot shorter, too!
TOC: Timelines
Utilizing Time
The Swish Pattern
Shifting the Importance of Criteria
Eliminating Compulsions
"The Last Straw" Threshold Pattern
Internal/External Reference
A Strategy for Responding to Criticism
Accessing Kinesthetic States
Other Submodality Interventions
Foreword, by Richard Bandler
Steve and Connirae Andreas came to their first NLP seminar with me in fall of
1977, nearly ten years ago. Since then they have consistently demonstrated their
tenacity in taking the patterns I teach and using them repeatedly until they
understand them thoroughly. Chapter 3 on The Swish Pattern demonstrates how they
can take a specific pattern and then explore it thoroughly to determine the essential
pieces that make it work, as well as how to adapt the pattern to unusual or difficult
cases.
Most of my students tell me about their successes with the patterns I teach.
In contrast, Connirae and Steve tell me about their failures, because those are
much more interesting to them. Successes are boring, because they only confirm
what you already know. Failures are much more interesting, because they indicate
where you can learn something new. Their fascination with the variety of subjective
experience, and the regularities that underlie that variety, shows in the quality
of the NLP trainings they have been offering over the last eight years. Their
teaching is widely-known for its integrity, ecology, attention to detail, and
this is also clearly reflected in this book.
Most NLP students are content if they master the patterns that have already been
developed. One of my greatest pleasures is having someone learn not only the
specific patterns that I teach, but the perceptions, attitudes, and thinking
processes that create those patterns. Steve and Connirae are among the few who
have gone on to use NLP modeling techniques to develop useful new patterns, and
this, too, is evident in this book. Chapter 8, "A Strategy for Responding to
Criticism," demonstrates their ability to model an essential skill--openness
to feedback--and distill it into a clean and elegant syntax.
This book is an excellent sequel to my book Using Your Brain-for a CHANGE, which
the Andreases created from audiotapes of my seminars, and it is my pleasure to
recommend this book to anyone who wants to further explore how to change your
mind.
AUTHOR BIOS: Steve Andreas, M.A. and Connirae Andreas, Ph.D.
are internationally-known trainers and researchers in NLP. They
also authored Heart of the Mind, an excellent introduction to NLP,
and edited four of the best-known NLP books by the original co-developers
of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, including Frogs into
Princes. Connirae is author of Core Transformation, a breakthrough
book that goes to the spiritual level, and Steve is author of Virginia
Satir: Patterns of her Magic. They also created NLP Comprehensive,
to provide NLP products, training seminars, and certification programs.
They live with their three teenage sons in Boulder, Colorado.
AUTHOR'S COMMENTS: (from the Introduction)
We have presented the patterns in this
book as explicitly and systematically
as we can, in order to make it easy for
you to learn them. Like a road map, these
directions will only be useful if you
take the time to actually follow them,
and use your senses to experience the
actual territory that they lead you to.
We have presented them in great detail,
and warned you about all the mistakes
we and others have made with them, to
make it hard for you to use them inappropriately.
Once you have taken the time to learn
these methods thoroughly, you can become
more flexible and artistic in utilizing
them with clients, with confidence that
your behavior will remain systematic
and effective.
Many people accuse NLP of being technological, with the implication that it is
cold and unfeeling. However, those same people are happy to use the technology
of central heating to help their houses warm, instead of the smoky fire used
by their ancestors. They also use antibiotics and immunization to keep their
children healthy without thinking about the incredibly complex technology behind
it.
Months of warm feelings won't help a child who is a poor speller, or release
him from the resulting ridicule, feelings of failure and self-criticism; an hour
or two of NLP technology can teach him how to spell and provide him with a sense
of accomplishment and self-worth. All the empathy in the world won't help a phobic;
a half-hour of NLP technology can release her from a life punctuated with terror.
Holding the hand of a dying friend may ease his passing; appropriate medical
technology may save his life.
Of course any technology can be misused by delivering it in a cold, unfeeling
way. We have listened to nurses whose "bedside manner" must have been learned
from a tape recording of Lucretia Borgia, and therapists who speak in the tonality
of Adolph Hitler. This book is more technological than most, because we know
that detailed technology gets results, and that the "coldest" technology can
be delivered with humanity and respect.
We learned much of the material in this book directly from Richard Bandler in
a small seminar in early 1984. In that seminar he taught us a number of specific
patterns, most of which are included in this book. But more important, he demonstrated
the tools of the trade: how to use fine distinctions, specific questions, and
procedures for further exploration and discovery. Richard also often demonstrated
without explaining, described events cryptically, or dropped tantalizing hints.
Although this was often frustrating, it also whetted our curiosity and motivated
us to explore further. Since then, we have been using the tools he taught us
to follow up some of those tantalizing hints and develop specific patterns in
sufficient detail that they can be more easily learned by others.
For over three years now we have been teaching this material in our Advanced
Submodality Trainings. Much of this book has been edited from transcripts drawn
from many different trainings. These segments have been woven together and presented
as if they occurred in one training, both for your ease in reading, and to retain
the conversational style and format of the live teaching. Other parts we have
written without referring to tapes of transcripts. Most of the time we do not
indicate which of us is speaking; after months of editing by both of us, we often
don't know, and it doesn't matter anyway. We do identify ourselves in transcripts
of demonstrations which are also available on videotape.
In many ways, this book is a continuation of Richard Bandler's book, Using Your
Brain--for a CHANGE, which we edited two years ago. As we were writing this book
we have presupposed that readers will have read Using Your Brain, and will have
a background understanding of basic submodality patterns. If you don't have that
background, we strongly recommend that you acquire it before reading this book,
in order to get full value from the patterns in this book.
We also strongly recommend that you read the chapters in this book in order.
Sequence, or syntax, of experience is a major organizing principle in NLP, and
the sequence of chapters in this book has been carefully thought out. Many of
the later chapters presuppose that ;you have already read and understood earlier
chapters. If you read a later chapter without the background provided by earlier
chapters and Using Your Brain, it will be more difficult for you to understand
the material completely and thoroughly.
There is an old joke about the human brain being "the only self-maintaining all-purpose
computer that can be created by unskilled labor." However, it's also a computer
without an owner's manual. The patterns developed by NLP are essentially human "software"--ways
to organize your experience that can be learned, a cultural/social resource,
like all the other products of human creativity and inventiveness. The material
we present here explores the mental patterning that makes us who we are, and
provide tools that you can use to quickly change how you respond. This book joins
over 30 NLP books that have been published since the first one was published
by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in 1975. And this is only the beginning .
. .
