Comments on: The Lies About How To Tell If A Person Is Lying To You

By: Tom Dotz

Tom Dotz — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:20:26 +0000

Hi Pat,
Susan and I both thank you. It's our pleasure.
Tom

By: Pat Mitchell

Pat Mitchell — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:04:00 +0000

Thanks for going into the issue of generalizing out of context for NLP guidelines, in this case "lying." It literally "hurts my heart" – and I am not a fanciful woman – when I hear some of the abusive uses to which NLP concepts are sometimes put. However, I think because those concepts do require clarity and true awareness of what we're doing, as well as a commitment to the ethical practice of winning consent for any work that we do, that NLP is a great deal more difficult to abuse than the free-floating abstractions of content-laden practices.

Keep up the good work, and again – thanks.

patm

By: Lorna

Lorna — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 09:23:41 +0000

Thanks for the article, many years ago after completing NLP Trainers I had a trainer ask me a question then proceed to say to me ….. I asked you to remember not make something up???????
Great lesson for us both back then to never assume you know what someone is doing with one question or where they are accessing their information from without appropriate eliciting of a strategy ….. I am totally reversed organised. I have come across many people who inappropriately believe they can tell immediately if someone is lying and have had pleasure relaying this same story many times in my own trainings to reassure the importance of appropriate eliciting.

By: Tom Dotz

Tom Dotz — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 21:48:03 +0000

Hi Carl,
That tendency to generalize out of laziness is one of the biggest traps!
Thanks for the comment,
TomD

By: carl utter

carl utter — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 12:22:42 +0000

Thank you susan for your post. The 1st movie i saw that used that phrase was the negoiator. With Kevin spacey.

I thought your post really brought us back to some basic Presups of nlp. Is to develope the sensory acuity to notice what is going on with someone and to NOTICE PATTERNS.

For me when i make a generalization like this person is__________ ( auditory,visual constructing therefore lying ) it tends jolt me and i go internal with my dialogue and then ops there goes UpTime.

there seems to be a trend toward rules like this and this just makes people lazy.One of the things I've valued about NLP is how i use my 7 +or – 2 bits of coinciousness.

Having read this only re-anchors me back to the idea of KEEPING my sensory channels as clean as I can. Thank you.

By: Tom Dotz

Tom Dotz — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 19:41:15 +0000

Thanks, Rupert. I agree, that really is a gem in this article.
With over Four Billion people on the planet, why would you want to waste your life with people who… waste your life?

By: Rupert

Rupert — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 19:38:54 +0000

"Maybe the best approach to the whole issue is the simplest: just don't hang around with people you think lie to you. It makes life much easier."

Ha! What better advice for a new year?!
All the best for 2010, Tom, and everyone at NLP Co.

By: Tom Dotz

Tom Dotz — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 19:37:48 +0000

You're very welcome, Rehana. It's perhaps overdue.

By: Rehana

Rehana — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:42:15 +0000

Thanks for the clarification!